Big Feelings
by Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy
Key Concepts
Name Your Feelings
Precisely identify emotions to gain clarity and control over your internal state.
Emotional Off-Ramps
Develop strategies to de-escalate intense emotional states before they overwhelm you.
Set Boundaries
Protect your emotional energy and well-being by establishing clear limits with others.
Productive Conflict
Transform disagreements into opportunities for deeper understanding and stronger connections.
Feelings as Data
View all emotions, even uncomfortable ones, as valuable information rather than obstacles.
Action Items
Use a feeling wheel to articulate complex emotions beyond basic labels.
Identify and practice personal emotional 'off-ramps' when feelings escalate.
Clearly communicate your emotional boundaries to others to prevent burnout.
Approach conflict with curiosity and a goal of mutual understanding, not just winning.
Reflect on what your 'big feelings' are trying to tell you about your needs or values.
Prioritize empathy and listening when others share their difficult emotions.
Core Thesis
Embrace and skillfully navigate difficult emotions to foster personal growth and stronger relationships.
Mindset Shift
Difficult emotions are not weaknesses to suppress, but powerful signals and pathways to deeper self-awareness and connection.