Nonviolent Communication
by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Key Concepts
Observations vs. Evaluations
Distinguish concrete actions from subjective interpretations to avoid triggering defensiveness.
Feelings vs. Thoughts
Express genuine emotional states rather than opinions, judgments, or intellectual analyses.
Needs vs. Strategies
Identify the universal human needs driving actions and feelings, moving beyond specific demands.
Requests vs. Demands
Formulate clear, positive, and actionable requests that allow for refusal without blame.
Empathic Listening
Connect deeply with others by hearing their feelings and needs without judgment, advice, or interruption.
Action Items
State what you observe without mixing in evaluations or judgments.
Clearly express your feelings using 'I feel...' statements.
Identify the underlying universal needs that are alive in you.
Make specific, positive, and actionable requests for what you want.
Practice listening for others' feelings and needs, not just their words.
Engage in self-empathy to understand your own inner world and needs.
Core Thesis
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offers a powerful framework to foster connection and understanding by focusing on universal human needs rather than judgment or blame.
Mindset Shift
Communication transforms from a battle of wills or a search for blame into a compassionate dance of connecting human needs.