No Bad Kids
by Janet Lansbury
Key Concepts
Respectful Observation
Observe children without intervention to understand their capabilities and needs.
Unconditional Acceptance
Accept all feelings, even difficult ones, without judgment or attempts to fix them.
Clear Boundaries
Set firm, consistent limits with empathy to provide security and structure.
Trust the Child
Trust children's innate drive to learn and develop at their own pace.
Sportscaster Narrate
Describe what's happening objectively without judgment or emotional overlay.
Action Items
Narrate children's actions and feelings objectively during conflicts or strong emotions.
Allow children to experience and express all emotions without trying to stop or distract them.
Set clear, consistent boundaries and follow through calmly, even when met with resistance.
Provide ample unstructured playtime and observe without constant intervention.
Speak to children as competent individuals, explaining expectations clearly.
Core Thesis
Children are inherently good and capable; effective parenting involves respectful guidance, not control or punishment.
Mindset Shift
The biggest shift is moving from viewing children's challenging behaviors as defiance to seeing them as communication or developmental stages.