Boundaries in Marriage
by Henry Cloud
Key Concepts
Own Your Life
Each spouse is responsible for their own feelings, choices, and behaviors.
Love Respects Limits
True love respects boundaries; attempts to control or manipulate violate them.
Clear Giving
Boundaries clarify what you can give and what you need to receive.
Natural Consequences
Healthy boundaries involve natural consequences for violations, promoting accountability.
Growth Through Limits
Limits allow individuals to grow, preventing codependency and fostering strength.
Protect Your Self
Boundaries protect one's emotional, physical, and spiritual self within the marital bond.
Action Items
Clearly define and communicate your "yes" and "no" to your spouse.
Allow your spouse to experience the natural consequences of their choices.
Take responsibility for your own feelings and reactions, not your partner's.
Prioritize self-care to maintain your emotional and physical well-being.
Seek professional guidance if boundary issues are deeply entrenched.
Core Thesis
Healthy boundaries are essential for a thriving marriage, defining individual responsibility and fostering true intimacy.
Mindset Shift
Boundaries are not walls that separate, but property lines that define and protect the space for true connection and individual growth within marriage.